My roommate has faced an ethical dilemma which really hurts her. Her friend who is a 28 years-old male student from Nigeria studying in Ukraine, wants her to send him money: “Even when my family had financial hardship I did not share my small salary with them but with him. I have been financially supporting his education for more than three years”, says my roommate.
After coming to the US to study she continued sending him money as he still was insisting that as a friend she should do that. Within two months the girl has sent him about 1 000 USD from her student stipend. The dilemma aroused when the man asked her to send him more 500 USD, to pay for his education: “500 USD is almost half of my monthly salary. Being an unemployed international student I also have financial difficulties here, in the US, it is not fair to send him 500 USD every month, but he accuses me in being disloyal to him, not paying attention to the friends’ problems”, says my roommate, “it is right not to give half of your stipend to a person who is not even your close friend, but it is also right not leave a person alone and to help when he needs money”.
This case seemed me to be right versus right situation as I also somehow agree with my roommate’s analysis that it is right to support a person who needs you (duty –based thinking), but it is also right not to spoil a person, especially a man, by feeding him for years. (ends- based thinking). Another right is that the roommates’ family also needs her financial support. What would I do in the roommate’s case?
Trying to remain loyal to my value not to leave a person who needs my help in difficult times,(otherwise I have to expect it from all people in the world in this situation to behave like that, as Kant argues)I would probably continue sending him money.
On the other hand, following Aristotle’s Golden Mean, I would try to find a balance and not send him the half of my stipend, as he demands, just 250 USD may be, and send another 250 USD to my family.
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I must say your fried has my deep admiration for her loyalty. I could not tell from your post if she promised to help finance his education. Regardless,whether this problem is about promise keeping or loyalty, I think your compromise makes sense. I only hope that in helping her friend gain his education, she does not fail to get her own degree because of financial problems.
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